Why You Must Stay Away From This Film, Jab Tak Hai Jaan, Jab Tak Hai Jaan

Posted on Mar 20 2015 - 4:27pm by admin

Yash Chopra’s last directorial venture, ‘Jab Tak Hai Jaan’ left the audiences flabbergasted with a nonsensical plot, bizarre characterisation and of course, terrible performances by bothKatrina and her botox. What she couldn’t express, Anushka Sharma compensated for with her overacting. We make an attempt at making sense out of the film.

Meet Samar Anand. He is a 25 year old,

Why You Must Stay Away From This Film,  Jab Tak Hai Jaan, Jab Tak Hai Jaan Part 1

who sings Punjabi songs in the streets of London

Why You Must Stay Away From This Film,  Jab Tak Hai Jaan, Jab Tak Hai Jaan Part 1

Creeps women out with random jigs,

Why You Must Stay Away From This Film,  Jab Tak Hai Jaan, Jab Tak Hai Jaan Part 1

Makes kids go crazy

Why You Must Stay Away From This Film,  Jab Tak Hai Jaan, Jab Tak Hai Jaan Part 1

Hits on strange men

Why You Must Stay Away From This Film,  Jab Tak Hai Jaan, Jab Tak Hai Jaan Part 1

And walks like this

Why You Must Stay Away From This Film,  Jab Tak Hai Jaan, Jab Tak Hai Jaan Part 1

He falls in love with Meera a.k.a Milkha. Whether she is going to a church or a date, she runs.

Why You Must Stay Away From This Film,  Jab Tak Hai Jaan, Jab Tak Hai Jaan Part 1
Why You Must Stay Away From This Film,  Jab Tak Hai Jaan, Jab Tak Hai Jaan Part 1
Why You Must Stay Away From This Film,  Jab Tak Hai Jaan, Jab Tak Hai Jaan Part 1
Why You Must Stay Away From This Film,  Jab Tak Hai Jaan, Jab Tak Hai Jaan Part 1
Why You Must Stay Away From This Film,  Jab Tak Hai Jaan, Jab Tak Hai Jaan Part 1
Why You Must Stay Away From This Film,  Jab Tak Hai Jaan, Jab Tak Hai Jaan Part 1

Milkha wants to learn a Punjabi song from Samar for her father’s birthday.  So, Samar takes her to London Underground for some role-play time, because that’s how you learn Punjabi songs.
Milkha has transformed from a ‘shareef ghar ki ladki’ to a sex goddess.

Why You Must Stay Away From This Film,  Jab Tak Hai Jaan, Jab Tak Hai Jaan Part 1
Why You Must Stay Away From This Film,  Jab Tak Hai Jaan, Jab Tak Hai Jaan Part 1
Why You Must Stay Away From This Film,  Jab Tak Hai Jaan, Jab Tak Hai Jaan Part 1

And the dance begins…

Why You Must Stay Away From This Film,  Jab Tak Hai Jaan, Jab Tak Hai Jaan Part 1

And when she starts, she just doesn’t stop.

Why You Must Stay Away From This Film,  Jab Tak Hai Jaan, Jab Tak Hai Jaan Part 1
Why You Must Stay Away From This Film,  Jab Tak Hai Jaan, Jab Tak Hai Jaan Part 1
Why You Must Stay Away From This Film,  Jab Tak Hai Jaan, Jab Tak Hai Jaan Part 1
Why You Must Stay Away From This Film,  Jab Tak Hai Jaan, Jab Tak Hai Jaan Part 1

And then, begins a hat-stealing match.

Why You Must Stay Away From This Film,  Jab Tak Hai Jaan, Jab Tak Hai Jaan Part 1
Why You Must Stay Away From This Film,  Jab Tak Hai Jaan, Jab Tak Hai Jaan Part 1
Why You Must Stay Away From This Film,  Jab Tak Hai Jaan, Jab Tak Hai Jaan Part 1
Why You Must Stay Away From This Film,  Jab Tak Hai Jaan, Jab Tak Hai Jaan Part 1
Why You Must Stay Away From This Film,  Jab Tak Hai Jaan, Jab Tak Hai Jaan Part 1

Just when they fall in love

Why You Must Stay Away From This Film,  Jab Tak Hai Jaan, Jab Tak Hai Jaan Part 1

Milkha finds Samar in bed with his Pakistani roommate

Why You Must Stay Away From This Film,  Jab Tak Hai Jaan, Jab Tak Hai Jaan Part 1

Milkha runs again, this time to kill him.

Why You Must Stay Away From This Film,  Jab Tak Hai Jaan, Jab Tak Hai Jaan Part 1

Samar is heartbroken because Milkha thought he was gay. So he joins the Indian Army to have some real fun with the men. From an unqualified loser, he has now become a 35 year old major who diffuses bombs, just like that.

Why You Must Stay Away From This Film, Jab Tak Hai Jaan, Jab Tak Hai Jaan Part 2

He meets Akira Rai, the 21 year old enthu cutlet, who is so impressed by his love story

Why You Must Stay Away From This Film, Jab Tak Hai Jaan, Jab Tak Hai Jaan Part 2

That she falls in love with him. Wherever he goes, she clings on.

Why You Must Stay Away From This Film, Jab Tak Hai Jaan, Jab Tak Hai Jaan Part 2

Despite him being almost her father’s age, Akira hits on him left, right and centre.

Why You Must Stay Away From This Film, Jab Tak Hai Jaan, Jab Tak Hai Jaan Part 2
Why You Must Stay Away From This Film, Jab Tak Hai Jaan, Jab Tak Hai Jaan Part 2
Why You Must Stay Away From This Film, Jab Tak Hai Jaan, Jab Tak Hai Jaan Part 2

While the army is on it’s mission, Akira is out to disturb the soul of the natives of that villagers.

Why You Must Stay Away From This Film, Jab Tak Hai Jaan, Jab Tak Hai Jaan Part 2
Why You Must Stay Away From This Film, Jab Tak Hai Jaan, Jab Tak Hai Jaan Part 2
Why You Must Stay Away From This Film, Jab Tak Hai Jaan, Jab Tak Hai Jaan Part 2
Why You Must Stay Away From This Film, Jab Tak Hai Jaan, Jab Tak Hai Jaan Part 2
Why You Must Stay Away From This Film, Jab Tak Hai Jaan, Jab Tak Hai Jaan Part 2
Why You Must Stay Away From This Film, Jab Tak Hai Jaan, Jab Tak Hai Jaan Part 2
Why You Must Stay Away From This Film, Jab Tak Hai Jaan, Jab Tak Hai Jaan Part 2
Why You Must Stay Away From This Film, Jab Tak Hai Jaan, Jab Tak Hai Jaan Part 2

And at night, she dances with drunk men.

Why You Must Stay Away From This Film, Jab Tak Hai Jaan, Jab Tak Hai Jaan Part 2
Why You Must Stay Away From This Film, Jab Tak Hai Jaan, Jab Tak Hai Jaan Part 2
Why You Must Stay Away From This Film, Jab Tak Hai Jaan, Jab Tak Hai Jaan Part 2

She still insists.

Why You Must Stay Away From This Film, Jab Tak Hai Jaan, Jab Tak Hai Jaan Part 2

Given the leech that Akira is, she brings Samar back to London where he meets with an accident. He goes back several years in memory.

Why You Must Stay Away From This Film, Jab Tak Hai Jaan, Jab Tak Hai Jaan Part 2

Just joking, he goes back only ten years in memory.

Why You Must Stay Away From This Film, Jab Tak Hai Jaan, Jab Tak Hai Jaan Part 2

So, Samar Anand has now lost all his memories of the cheerbomb Akira.

Why You Must Stay Away From This Film, Jab Tak Hai Jaan, Jab Tak Hai Jaan Part 2

Milkha gets to know.

Why You Must Stay Away From This Film, Jab Tak Hai Jaan, Jab Tak Hai Jaan Part 2
Why You Must Stay Away From This Film, Jab Tak Hai Jaan, Jab Tak Hai Jaan Part 2
Why You Must Stay Away From This Film, Jab Tak Hai Jaan, Jab Tak Hai Jaan Part 2
Why You Must Stay Away From This Film, Jab Tak Hai Jaan, Jab Tak Hai Jaan Part 2
Why You Must Stay Away From This Film, Jab Tak Hai Jaan, Jab Tak Hai Jaan Part 2
Why You Must Stay Away From This Film, Jab Tak Hai Jaan, Jab Tak Hai Jaan Part 2
Why You Must Stay Away From This Film, Jab Tak Hai Jaan, Jab Tak Hai Jaan Part 2

It has been ten years and Milkha is still very much in the role-playing mood. She poses as Samar Anand’s wife.

Why You Must Stay Away From This Film, Jab Tak Hai Jaan, Jab Tak Hai Jaan Part 2

Cut to a random day when there is a bomb scare in the London tube. The tension and chaos causes him to not only diffuse the bomb, but also brings back the memory of how Milkha had dumped him 10 years ago.

Why You Must Stay Away From This Film, Jab Tak Hai Jaan, Jab Tak Hai Jaan Part 2
Why You Must Stay Away From This Film, Jab Tak Hai Jaan, Jab Tak Hai Jaan Part 2
Why You Must Stay Away From This Film, Jab Tak Hai Jaan, Jab Tak Hai Jaan Part 2

Milkha cries and cries.

Why You Must Stay Away From This Film, Jab Tak Hai Jaan, Jab Tak Hai Jaan Part 2
Why You Must Stay Away From This Film, Jab Tak Hai Jaan, Jab Tak Hai Jaan Part 2
Why You Must Stay Away From This Film, Jab Tak Hai Jaan, Jab Tak Hai Jaan Part 2

Samar goes back to diffusing bombs.

Why You Must Stay Away From This Film, Jab Tak Hai Jaan, Jab Tak Hai Jaan Part 2

Akira goes back to the planet she had come from

Why You Must Stay Away From This Film, Jab Tak Hai Jaan, Jab Tak Hai Jaan Part 2

While Milkha is still bring home trophies.

Why You Must Stay Away From This Film, Jab Tak Hai Jaan, Jab Tak Hai Jaan Part 2
Why You Must Stay Away From This Film, Jab Tak Hai Jaan, Jab Tak Hai Jaan Part 2